The Upper East Side coffee shops all start to blend together after a decade in this business. But I still remember Carrie perched awkwardly on the leather armchair at CafĂ© Evergreen, her espresso untouched, as she unspooled a story that’s […]
Lola Adams
Therapy Confessions: The Emotional Labor of Parenting Our Parents
It was the kind of Tuesday afternoon when Manhattan seems to blur at the edges, when one client appointment bleeds into the next, and the parade of human hearts on display becomes an impressionist painting of longing and regret. Then […]
Lola Adams
Therapy Confessions: The Invisible Labor of Hoping in Relationships
I still remember Amanda because she reminded me of how the smallest moments contain earthquakes. 🌪️ She arrived at my office in a hurricane of contradictions – outwardly composed in her tailored blazer and confident stride, yet the slight tremble […]
Lola Adams
Therapy Confessions: Emotional Poachers and the Invisible Invasion of Relationships
Twenty years of listening to Manhattan’s relationship woes and I still remember Alexis. She sat in my office, designer boots barely touching the floor, hands wrapped around a coffee cup like it was the last warm thing in the world. […]
Lola Adams
Why My Reactions Reveal More About My Pain Than Anyone Else’s Mistakes
Friday night, 7 PM, Upper East Side. James leaned against my office doorframe, designer suit rumpled from a day of closing deals that made his bank account smile while his heart ran a deficit. “I did something vindictive to my […]
Dating - Heartbreak - Lola Adams
The Emotional Messaging Script We Can’t Stop Running
Friday night at The Whisper Lounge. Sarah sits in our regular corner booth, spinning her empty martini glass by the stem, recounting how she spent twenty minutes crafting the perfect “casual” text to the guy who never responded to her […]
Heartbreak - Lola Adams - Workplaces
“I’m Not Crazy, That Happened….Right?”
It was Thursday night, and Mia was staring at her phone, crafting what she believed was a casual text to her coworker Alex. The same Alex she’d been having lunch with three times a week “by coincidence.” The same Alex […]
Dating - Lola Adams
I’ve Watched Countless Female Friendships Implode, and I’ve Come to a Stunning Realization
There’s a particular breed of social warfare that happens when female friendships implode, and watching it unfold is like witnessing a carefully choreographed demolition. The precision is almost artistic—every social connection severed with surgical accuracy, every mutual friend recruited as […]
Dating - Lola Adams
I’m Learning to Set Boundaries Without the Guilt.
 There I was, sitting in my favorite cafĂ© on East 67th, watching Sarah—a brilliant corporate lawyer who’d just negotiated a merger worth more than most people’s entire net worth—agonize over whether she was a terrible person for wanting to […]
Heartbreak - Lola Adams
I’m Learning to Grieve in a World Where Everyone Has an Opinion About My Love and My Loss
Picture this: You’re standing in your childhood living room, surrounded by extended family who haven’t spoken to each other since the Clinton administration, all pretending to celebrate the life of someone you loved. The shrine you’ve carefully constructed—the flowers, the […]