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She stared at the platform clock, watching the seconds tick down. The train had just pulled away, leaving her stranded for another 30 minutes. Again. The familiar wave of shame washed over her as she mentally calculated how late she’d be to work this time. She knew the routine—the apologies, the awkward nods from coworkers, her manager’s thinning patience. Another day, another failed attempt at basic adulting.
Let me put you onto something… chronic lateness isn’t actually about time management. It’s about your relationship with transitions and boundaries. ✨
Studies show that 20% of people struggle with habitual lateness, and it’s literally giving their brains dopamine hits with every “just-in-time” arrival. Your brain is literally getting high off your lateness. 🤯
The Emotional Bytes Behind Your Lateness 🧠
That moment when you’re rushing around your apartment, knowing you should’ve left 10 minutes ago? Your brain is activating emotional scripts you’ve been running since childhood.
These aren’t just habits—they’re emotional bytes containing physical sensations (the rush of adrenaline), emotional charges (anxiety mixed with excitement), and narratives (“I work best under pressure”) that have become your default operating system.
The truth is: your lateness might be serving you in ways you don’t recognize. It’s giving you:
- A secret rebellion against structure 🚩
- The thrill of the “time emergency” rush 🚩
- An excuse if you underperform (“I was rushed”) 🚩
- A way to avoid uncomfortable waiting periods 🚩
How to Actually Fix This 💪
1. Reframe your emotional scripts – Instead of “I need to catch this train,” try “I need to be at the station 15 minutes early.” Your inner voice is creating these frames—change the narrative. 🧠
2. Backward planning is your bestie – Start from the train time and work b a c k w a r d s, including buffer time for EVERY step. Set alarms for each transition point, not just the final “leave now” moment. ⏰
3. Create emotional granularity – Notice the different feelings beneath your lateness. Is it anxiety? Boredom? Rebellion? Name them specifically instead of just feeling generally rushed. 💭
4. Use the dopamine strategically – Make being early the reward. Bring something to do at the station that you actually enjoy (that new TikTok sound edit you’ve been wanting to make). 🎧
The Real Tea ☕
Reminder: Your chronic lateness is NOT a personality trait—it’s a pattern of emotional bytes that can be rewired. You’re not “just like this.” 💀
Next time you feel that “one more thing” urge before leaving, recognize it as your emotional script running—not a necessary action. That urge to check your email one last time is LITERALLY your brain trying to feed its lateness addiction.
It’s giving main character energy to think everyone should wait for you. The real flex? Walking in five minutes early like it’s nothing. 💅
– Melanie Doss
Don’t let your train be your villain origin story… just a thought. 🚆